Writing Motherhood

One of my all-time favourite activities is browsing the shelves of the local library for an escape into a new world. Of course, nowadays I’m more likely to spend 95% of my library time in the kids’ section trying to limit my two-year-old to 10 books or under, which is really quite difficult considering she just roams around randomly pulling books off the shelf and declaring, ‘This one… and this one… and this one…’ until we are wading through a brightly coloured swamp of princesses and talking animals. When I try to look in the adults’ section she runs up and down the aisles, yelling, ‘Catch me, Mummy!’ and again pulling books off the shelf, asking, ‘What’s that?’ and pointing to – as she did last week – a picture of Martin Luther King Jr. (‘Um, he was a very famous man who wanted everyone to be happy, honey,’ I mumbled vaguely, red-faced, while a librarian smirked behind us.) I usually end up grabbing the first thing that takes my fancy, which is usually somewhat disappointing and a waste of time, stress and energy.


So I’ve taken to browsing the library catalogue online and requesting books to be sent to my local library. A few weeks ago I stumbled across Writing Motherhood by Lisa Garrigues, and quickly sent a request off. As soon as I received the email announcing that the book had arrived, I packed the kids into the car and took off to the library to lay my hot little hands on the most inspiring and life-affirming book I’ve read in a long time. Here’s the summary:

"Have you always wanted to chronicle your experience of motherhood, but never knew how to begin? Are you looking for an outlet for self-expression, but can't imagine how you could juggle one more thing? In 'Writing Motherhood', long-time writing teacher Lisa Garrigues dispels the myth that motherhood is an impediment to creativity. Drawing on her own efforts to balance the demands of motherhood with her dream of writing, she shows readers how everyday life can be a rich source of stories, and how writing can provide a means to both understand and document their experiences. Whether you are a new mother or a grandmother, someone who has long aspired to write or someone who has never written before, 'Writing Motherhood' will help you find your voice and tap into your creative self. Filled with insight, honesty, and humour, each chapter of Writing Motherhood weaves together stories from the author's life with wisdom from other writers and mothers. In daily writing Invitations, Lisa then encourages readers to tell their own stories."

I always kept journals as a child and a teenager, writing my daily musings and chronicling the day’s events at the front of the books and jotting down lines of poetry and song lyrics in the back. It is partly to these journals that I credit my relatively smooth teenage years. Having an outlet to dump my frustrations, joys, dreams, fits of angst and woozy flushes of first loves gave me a chance to gain perspective, work through my ideas and learn from mistakes. It was a nightly ritual, a chance to wind down and take stock, and to explore my creativity in a very private and non-threatening way. I pretty much stopped writing when I moved in with the man who is now my husband, probably because I had a new – interactive! – listening post and didn’t feel the need so much any more. But I found that at challenging times I would pick up the pen again, finding immediate comfort in the familiar indulgence. As cheesy as it sounds, writing has helped me to be my own best friend.

So the summary of this book jumped out at me in one of those golden ‘everything clicks’ moments of serendipity. This is what I need in order to work through the biggest challenge I’ve ever faced – being a mum to two very tiny, very vulnerable and very needy little girls. I need a map to navigate this foreign country, and it is me who has to write it.

I finished reading Writing Motherhood at the weekend. At the core of the book is the encouragement to maintain a Mother’s Notebook – halfway between a journal and a writer’s notebook – and to commit to writing in it every day. The author offers tips and advice about fitting writing into your mothering life, and Invitations, which are basically writing assignments but with a more encouraging and positive ‘do it if you want to’ spin. It’s a wonderful book and an excellent tool for a mother who may have forgotten she was once a writer, or for someone who may want to give writing a go in order to chronicle these precious years. The only criticism I have is that it is very American-ised; so many of the examples, props or scents she mentions are so acutely American that it is slightly off-putting for a born and bred New Zealander. I know that we’re used to that in popular culture, but for some reason it’s more jarring and noticeable in a book about something so personal as writing.

That, though, is a small and minor criticism. I whole-heartedly recommend this book and its wisdom to any mother of any age or description. In fact, I’m so inspired by it that I would be keen to hold a workshop of the ideas with any willing mothers out there who may be interested. If that strikes you as something you might be keen on, comment below or send me a message. If you're unsure, try taking this quiz on the Writing Motherhood website.

“Motherhood need not be an impediment to creativity. On the contrary, it can be a limitless source for story.” – Lisa Garrigues